For today’s World Childless Week blog about “Moving Forward and Acceptance” I was going to focus on how to move forward with Canbace. In fact, at the bottom of every blog this week I have mentioned that I have an announcement to make today. That announcement will happen at the end of this blog. I simply didn’t want it to be the whole focus of the blog
Instead, I would like to share with you a Tweet that I saw and responded to Friday.
You can read Kirsten’s blog about her IVF experiences here.
“You are Strong. You are Capable” reminded me of the lovely message that Sue Johnston, The In-fertility Advocate, sent me about a year ago. Sue was taking part in ArtPrize [insert link] and was creating an installation based around her Infertility poem “1 in 10!
Sue asked me if I would record some thoughts about what it means to be childless-not-by-choice. Both Andrew and I sent recordings which she kindly used in her installation.
My recording was an A-Z list of all the negative thoughts a person who is feeling overwhelmed by their CNBC situation CAN feel.
A few days after receiving our audio files Sue sent her thanks as well as a special message to me. She gave me permission to share at the time and I share it again now because it is So lovely and powerful.
Listening to Sue’s message again tears welled up in my eyes. I am still typing through them. You see, when you are feeling vulnerable it is hard to listen to messages like this. Particularly when they are from someone you love.
Our Inner Demons get in the way and tell us fibs. “They may think that BUT you KNOW that you’re not like that really”
[If you are struggling with your Inner Demon today please take a look at yesterday’s blog about Destroying Your Inner Demon]You may be really struggling with your Inner Demon today. They tend to get louder and more vocal when our emotional bandwidth has been stretched to its limits.
World Childless Week IS incredibly supportive. It helps lessen feelings of isolation.
Yet it can also be quite overwhelming. Even for people who had been feeling strong and capable at the beginning of the week. We are very empathetic to other people who are struggling with being CNBC. Reading other people’s stories helps us to feel less alone. However, it can also be upsetting as we are reminded of the personal hurt we felt in the past.
So, if you are having a little bit of a wobble today, I would like to remind you that:
You are strong
To have got this far you MUST be strong. It may not feel like it all the time. There will be days when you are screaming at the world “BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE STRONG ANYMORE”. Yet you are strong. You get up in the morning and frequently put on a brave face before you venture out into a world that doesn’t see or understand you. That takes a HUGE amount of strength.
You are capable
Not being able to have children doesn’t suddenly mean that you lose the ability to “do”. We hold down jobs. Help our friends and family, often to the detriment of our own well-being. Raise money or volunteer to support good causes. We look after our furries, or featheries and scaleies, if we have them. We cook, garden, build, travel, write, paint. The list goes on. Life goes on. Because we are capable.
You are resilient
Like Hamlet “we suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” Everyday, when we get up and put on that brave face “we take arms against the sea of troubles”. Eventually we learn how to heal. We move through our grief. All of which takes time, effort and resilience.
You are deserving
Let’s face it. Life has dealt you a C*** hand. Regardless of your story you deserve to be happy. Moving through your grief takes time and courage and reliance and you deserve to find peace and acceptance. You deserve support, encouragement and praise whilst you are Creating A New, Beautiful And Courageous Existence.
The list is endless
I have focused on only four attributes. However, the list of positive attributes that you have is endless. It would take a complete book to do them justice. As I wanted to share a few more today I recorded this short message:
Moving forward with Canbace
As I’ve been promising all week Andrew and I are going to be launching some new ways to move forward with Canbace.
Due to broken toes, an endo flare-up, bad weather and our first house-viewing happening early next week I’m a little behind schedule. So, I don’t actually have all my ducks in a row to make the announcements as planned.
What I can share with you now is that we’re going to be blogging again on a regular basis. I am so pleased about this because I have missed it.
We’re going to blog once a week on Wednesdays. This schedule will mean that we will be able to publish something no matter how busy we are.
We’re going to take it in turns to blog so once a month you will hear from me and once a month it will be Andrew’s turn. My #WednesdayWisdom blog is where I share proactive healing ideas. Andrew’s blogs are going to be about #CaribbeanCanbacing Don’t worry though it’s not ALL going to be about us moving to the Caribbean though. He’s also going to be sharing ideas about doing something different as a way of getting out of a rut.
Our #WhatNotToSay series is also going to make a reappearance together with a new series which is focusing on positivity. These two series will complete our monthly blogging schedule.
I’m going to kick start our blogging with a look at the new Canbace initiatives that we have planned for the coming few months.
However, I want to leave you with something that will help you right now if you are feeling vulnerable today.
About halfway through World Childless Week last year I was contacted by a number of people from with the CNBC community. They were reaching out to me because they were having a wobble and didn’t understand how that could happen when there was so much support available to them. This was the video I recorded in an effort to help people to understand that it is OK to wobble even during World Childless Week.
In Canbace friendship
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