We all find saying no difficult but it is important to learn to.
“You have a right to say no. Most of us have a very weak and flaccid ‘no’ muscles. We feel guilty for saying no. we get ostracised and challenged for saying no, so we forget it’s our choice. Your ‘no’ muscle has to be built up to get to a place where you can say “I don’t care if that’s what you want. I don’t want that. No.”
Iyanla Vanzant
Why saying no is important.
- It reduces stress
- Reduces overload
- Increases self-confidence
- Prioritises your self-worth
- It Prioritises your health
- Is an Important aspect of self-care
The biggest No’s that I have made.
In this video I talk about a couple of the biggest no’s I have made. You may disagree with them and think I am heartless and uncaring about others. That is why we are afraid to say no.
Plan when to say no
One way to find when to say no is to plan for it. A good starting point is identifying times when saying yes will create more problems than it is worth. These could be problems to your mental health as well as your physical health. Making a list of what you don’t want to do enables you to say no immediately. This stops your “no” looking like a lame excuse that you needed time to concoct. Remember to revisit your “no” list regularly as it will change over time. If you have a significant other it’s important to sharing your “no list” with then. You both need to be on the same page. One of your agreeing to something that the other person isn’t happy about puts additional strain on your relationship.
Practice makes perfect
It’s all well and good writing about things in theory: however, we need to start applying what we learn. Today’s activity is to think about what you need to say “no” about so that you have prepared yourself in advance for the next time you need to use that powerful little word.
To help you keep track of all your work for the daily activities mentioned, we have created a Monthly Diary for you to record your progress. To download your copy of “My January Canbace Diary” please click here.
Be kind to yourself …
In CANBACE friendship!
If anything I have written resonates I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I appreciate that this can be a difficult subject to speak openly about. If you don’t want me to publish your comment on the website, please let me know. I will keep your words private.
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