Stress is always with us and depending on the situation it varies in intensity. It is not always a bad thing as in can motivate you and “stress” adds the spice to life. It all depends on how you use that stress as to what the outcome will be.
“Stress is the trash of modern life we all generate it but if you don’t dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life”. Danzae Pace
It can be stressful living in a beautiful house in a beautiful part of the world if you don’t want to live there. We have a house in the South West of France. When we first moved here is was only supposed to be for six months. We’d work on the renovations like demons then put the house on the market. A quick turnaround so we could make the move to the Bahamas ASAP. So, we actually have NEVER wanted to live here permanently. It was always supposed to be a short stay.
On paper it would be easy to think that we’ve been Creating A New, Beautiful and Couragous Existence for years. Not quite true.
The six months turned into a year. Then the year turned into two years. It wasn’t that we had changed our minds simply that the renovations simply took far longer than expected. It took us two years to get the electricity company to change where the power entered our house. Before that work was done, we couldn’t convert the attic into bedrooms and a bathroom.
DIY Stress
People back in the UK couldn’t understand why it was taking so long. They didn’t appreciate that EVERYTHING takes longer in France. In the UK most decent sized town has a DIY shop stocking a good range of everything you could possibly want. The shops are open from 8am to 8pm Monday through to Saturday. They are also open on Sundays and Bank Holidays. Oh, the bliss of being able to shop when you NEED something.
France is so different. The DIY shops are much smaller. You frequently need to visit four or five different shops to purchase everything on the list. The shops are open from 9am to 5:30pm Monday to Saturday. If you are lucky, they will have a late-night once a week. They are NOT open over lunch time expect on Saturdays. As for Sundays? Well they may have an “overt exceptionelle” three times a year. Bank Holidays? Forget it!
A build-up of stress
So, renovating our house was more stressful in the first place. Despite the fact that the house is in a beautiful valley with vines in sight. Rush hour constitutes more than three cars/tractors passing in an hour. The food and wine are good and the summers are long and hot. What’s not to love?
An added stress
We have an added stress here. Remember I wrote earlier that people back in the UK couldn’t understand why the renovations were taking so long? We know they can’t understand why we’re not as happy as pigs in muck now the work is done. They believe we are living the dream and don’t want to listen to us when we say we’re struggling. This adds even more stress. Ask the people of any holiday destination about living there permanently, some will love it and some will hate it.
I know we want to move to “another” holiday destination, but we have put more thought into how we want to live our lives there. Much of our stress is the excitement we feel about doing something and the agony of being not being able to. So, over the past 14 years stress continued to build. In the last couple of years that increase has become more obvious. Our lovely house can feel like a prison.
A de-stressing pact
We have a pact with some English friends of ours who live a couple of miles away. They are in exactly the same situation. The renovation was longer and harder than expected. Like us they do not want to live in France anymore. They have the same feelings and anxieties about the situation that we do. The stress has had the same impact on their confidence, happiness and socialising. Like us they have become almost hermits, especially over the winter. The pact is that we will socialize with them on a regular basis. Even if it is just for informal dinners or a film night. We do this especially during the winter (when everyone seems to hibernate) so that we survive until the weather improves and our spirits begin to lift.
We know with our friends that if we are not on top form when they invite us over that they will understand. In return they know that they can accept an invitation from us and not feel under any obligation to put on a brave face. Our socialising is less social and more “medical”. It’s what is going to help all four of us get through the winter.
Channelling your stress
Actors or athletes rarely give their best performances in practice. They rely on the stress brought about by competition or performing live to give their best. We all need to find ways to channel the stresses we have to Create New Beautiful and Courageous Existences.
We have decided to channel our stress into remembering that we DO live in a lovely part of the world. Even though it may not be where we want to be it is a lot better than other places we could be. It is starting to work as we are again enjoying some of the pleasures to be had from living here.
Practice makes perfect
It’s all well and good writing about things in theory: however, we need to start applying what we learn. Look at what is stressing you and see if there are any ways to turn it into a force for moving you forward. If you want to learn more about the symptoms of stress Derbyshire Community Health Services have created a used PDF that you can read and download here.
To help you keep track of all your work for the daily activities mentioned we have created a monthly diary for you to record your progress. To download your copy of “My January Canbace Diary” please click here.
Be kind to yourself …
In CANBACE friendship!
If anything I have written resonates I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I appreciate that this can be a difficult subject to speak openly about. If you don’t want me to publish your comment on the website, please let me know. I will keep your words private.
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