Another year, another birthday. Some people struggle with birthdays, especially as they get older, because of the implications regarding having, or not having, children. So here is some reflection on Birthdays as part of my reflections on the past year. This is a new experience for me as I it is something I haven’t done in the past. I reserve judgement on whether it becomes an annual occurrence in the future.
Childhood birthdays
I have a possibly strange view on birthdays as I have never really done them after the age of 10.
Let me put that in context. I went to boarding school when I was 10. My late November birthday always fell during term time. So every birthday was just another day; no cake, no presents, just a card from my parents. Although obviously there were presents waiting at home when we broke up for Christmas.
Adult birthdays
I joined the Army straight from school. After I had completely basic training I was always on exercise on my birthday Although I can’t remember my 19th birthday I remember the day afterwards. I was summoned to the Commanding Officers Office to be told that I had passed the Regular Commissions Board and had a place at Sandhurst for the following January. The fact that I was still somewhat inebriated from the night before made this quite a stressful interview. This was pretty much the form from then on in: I can’t remember any particular birthday: however, it wasn’t usually because of excessive alcohol consumption.
Once I was my son’s primary carer, I usually spent my birthday in hospital with him. Then again we did spend a lot of time in hospital especially during the winter.
There have been a few birthdays that do stand out: however, probably for the “wrong” reasons. I spent my 31st birthday in Sipovo, Bosnia, and my 38th in Basra, Iraq. Not my usual location for celebrations yet both were still “uneventful” from the point of view of birthdays.
Recent birthdays
The memorable birthdays since being married to Nicci have generally been hers. We seem to spend her birthdays somewhere hot and sunny on holiday (preferably the Bahamas) whilst we are back home three weeks later for mine. The most memorable of these was for all the wrong reasons as Nicci scared me somewhat by waking at 3 am in literally screaming agony (the first sign of her stage 4 Endo).
One notable exception to this was my 40th. We had friends around for a meal (including two friends from The Bahamas). One of my longest standing friends was wondering why she was the only one drinking Kir Royal. Everyone else was drinking what she thought was fruit punch (she hadn’t realised there was Rum in it).
Future birthdays
So, my perspective on birthdays is that they are just another day. Yes, they can be used to put on a party but why not do that any other day. Indeed, as I get older the idea of celebrating that fact that I am my hair as developed even more grey hairs gets a little depressing. We’ve also not done that well celebrating the BIG anniversaries. In the light of this we thought we’d mark the half decades rather than the full ones instead. With that in mind I only have another 2 years to go. I’ll let you know how that plan works out.
Be kind to yourself …
In CANBACE friendship!
If anything I have written resonates I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I appreciate that this can be a difficult subject to speak openly about. If you don’t want me to publish your comment on the website, please let me know. I will keep your words private.
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