Navigating the ups and downs of life

Navigating the ups and downs of life seems like such a gentle process. A calm meander through the gently undulating landscape of our grief.

Whilst this can be the case, especially when you have reached a certain point in you healing, the reality is often far different.

Instead of gentle undulating landscape we are scaling sheer cliffs and avoiding the abyss of depression.

Sometimes we believe that we have reached easier territory. We have found a degree of balance in our lives. The good days are happier and hang around for longer. In comparison the bad days are less deep and not quite as dark as they used to be.

All signs we are making progress.

Sigh of relief!

Then we hit an unexpected rough patch. Sometimes this is directly related to us not having children. At other times it’s non-CNBC related parts of our lives that come crashing down around our ears.

“Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. 
It's a journey of discovery - there are moments on mountaintops and moments in 
deep valleys of despair.” 
Rick Warren

No matter what the cause solid ground suddenly becomes quicksand.

Through the ups and downs webinar

Both Brandi Lytle, of Not So Mommy … and I have experienced just that over the last six months.

We thought that sharing our experiences would help other people, so we were thrilled with “More To Life” asked us to deliver a webinar called “Through the ups and downs”.

The live event took place on 3^rd April 2009. Fortunately, More To Life record their webinars so I’ve included it here if you didn’t manage to catch it live.

Brandi did get upset during the webinar. She knew that she would due to the nature of her grief. We discuss this a lot beforehand, and she wanted to share her experience because she believed it would help other people.

Brandi has also published a blog about going through the ups and downs. You can read that here.

The Coaching Tools

During the webinar I mention a number of coaching tools that I have helped me over the last few months. I’ve written blogs about them which you can read by clicking on the following links:

Ironing out the bumps with the wheel of life

To SWOT or not to SWOT is a question of self-awareness

How to make the MOST out of life

Juggling the glass balls of overwhelm

Even beach-bums-in-waiting need personal values (written by Andrew)

The #CanbaceLife Twitter Chat

The Twitter Chat that Andrew and I host each week was also mentioned. However, when I talked about it I shared information about what it is and not when it is. DOH! So here’s a quick recap together with everything you need to know to join in the conversation.

We get together with other people who are struggling with infertility or being CNBC for support, friendship and, where possible, a little bit of fun. Being Brits, the weather is a frequent topic of conversation. We also celebrate each other’s successes and help each other through the downs.

The Twitter Chat takes place every Tuesday at 7pm (London). This is normally 2pm in New York/Montreal and 10am in Los Angeles/Vancouver – although these times do vary in the spring and autumn when clocks change in North America.

To join in the conversation simply use #CanbaceLife. Andrew and I both have Twitter accounts. You can follow me on @CanbaceLife whilst Andrew can be found at the magazine account @CanbaceLifeMag

Ups and downs with Wil and Sally

For a number of reasons, I skimmed over much of the details of what I have been dealing with recently. So, I took the opportunity to record my own addition video which has some of the “back story.”

I did get upset during the recording. Probably because I managed to keep control of my emotions during the webinar. Hopefully you can still hear me through the tears.

So, navigating the ups and downs of our lives can be blimming difficult at times. Thankfully it is getting easy now that I am Creating A New, Beautiful and Courageous Existence.

The downs are getting significantly less frequent. I am also realising that I have so many unused coaching resources at my fingertips. Things that could help you as well as me. Which is why The Flamingo Club is coming soon. You can watch a video about The Flamingo Club here.  I’ll be sharing more information on a blog to be published on 1st May becasue CANBACE DAY is when the flamingos fly in.

One last (and very important) thing …

Before I finish I want to thank my wonderful and amazing friend, Brandi, for being so brave and talking so openly about her grief. I know that it took a lot out of you.

We talked about some very important issues that people who are struggling with infertility or being CNBC encounter. We both hope that by sharing our personal experiences that it helps others deal with their situations.

I also want to thank Heather and More to Life for giving us the opportunity to deliver this webinar.

Heather mentioned that I had delivered a More To Life webinar in September of last year. In case you are interested in watching that I’ve shared the recording below.

 

To find out about the other webinars that More To Life have planned in the future please click here.

Practice makes perfect

It’s all well and good writing about things in theory: however, we need to start applying what we learn. Today’s activity is to look back over the last few months. Notice how many ups and downs you have navigated during that time.

If there seem to be more downs than there used to be then be kind to yourself. Things have got better in the past and they will get better again this time. Give yourself a treat because you deserve it and remember that it’s OK not to feel OK.

If you’ve noticed more ups than before this is a sure sign of healing. Celebrate your success and reward yourself with a treat.

Be kind to yourself …

In CANBACE friendship!

 

If anything I have written resonates I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I appreciate that this can be a difficult subject to speak openly about. If you don’t want me to publish your comment on the website, please let me know. I will keep your words private.